"You're killing me! Get it off! You're killlllllllllllling me! Let me go! YOU'RE KILLING ME! It's on my tongue! You're kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilling me! You're killing me! YOU'RE! KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLINNNNNNNNNNG ME!!!!!"
Any guesses on what was going on? I bet you're thinking that I've done something totally horrible to my child and you should call CAS. Or the police. But that I've been totally horrible to Hassaan.
Know what I did? Cut his hair. Yup. I gave the child a haircut. Took twice as long as it should have because of all the screaming going on. In the summer I will often cut his hair in the driveway because otherwise the windows are all open and all the neighbours sitting outside on their deck can hear is Hassaan screaming about how much I'm hurting him. At least if I'm doing it in the driveway they can see for themselves exactly what I'm doing. Which is giving the child a darned haircut!
Every once in awhile, it's exactly the opposite. It's "ahhhh! That feels niiiiiiiiice. Oh Mommy, what a nice massage that is!" But normally, I get accused of killing him. Hurting him. Just downright making his life miserable. All in the pursuit of a decent haircut, especially like now when he had a most definite Eddie Munster thing going down the centre of his forehead.
So if you ever are walking past my house on a nice day when the windows are open and you keep hearing "You're killing me!" screamed over and over again - don't worry, I'm just giving the child a haircut.
5 weeks ago